I thought it might be therapeutic for me to post on Ed's blog for a while. Even if no one reads it.
This week I learned three important things:
1. The person who said "It is better to give than to receive" only got it half right. Being on the receiving end of the genuine outpouring of kindness and compassion from so many family and friends (and complete strangers) has been a humbling, life changing experience for me. It has already made me a better person and will impact how I reach out to others in the future. So many times I thought that my words or actions to assist others were inconsequential, that those in need had many other more important people in there lives and didn't need little old me reaching out.....I was wrong. Each and every act of kindness is a gift from God. I knew this in my heart and I always tried to be a good person by doing good for others. But until I truly experienced it, humbly being on the receiving end, I could not fathom it.
2. Sable knows where Ed is buried. I decided today was the day to go to the cemetery for the first time since Ed's funeral. I decided to take Sable with me. It was sunny and warm, spring blossoms abound and I needed to go there. I needed to talk with Ed for a while about the farm and the kids and the new grandbaby. After laying quietly sleeping in the back seat of the Dakota for the 20 minute ride to the cemetery, Sable came up front and started to whine when I pulled into the cemetery gate. She had never been in this place before. But somehow she knew. She just knew.
3. Don't use the electric chain saw to cut down the dead ornamental grass that is eight feet tall. Don't be lazy. Use the hedge trimmers. Their bar is made for grass. The hour I spent taking the chainsaw bar apart and cleaning out the sprocket taught me to not cut corners. I'm sure Ed is laughing to himself at my expense.
Be kind, be patient and be yourself. LuAnn
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It took myself a very long time to go to my Dads grave-Thanks for postin LuAnn-I post at ag-talk-and always had questions-Garvo
ReplyDeleteThanks LuAnn. I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteAmen to the importance of being able to receive.
ReplyDeleteHello LuAnn, You will never have heard of me - I post on New AgTalk as Aussy Harold. From that you can guess I am an Australian.
ReplyDeleteOnly few months ago Ed posted an answer to a post of mine on Kitchen Table, re a cough from a blood pressure tablet.
Not sure how now but I got onto Ed's blog, and also emailed him. From what little I got to know, I would have got on well with him. Gleaned that he was battling cancer, and now I see he has gone to be with his Lord.
My deepest sympathy to you, LuAnn.
About 20 years ago I picked up a farmer in Sthn Illinois [I have just retired from grain farming now] - a good Christian man about my own age. Tom has been out here and we have been to his home in Clay City/Flora area.
If we were coming to the US again, I feel I could have looked up yourself and Ed, and made new friendships
God bless,
Harold
LuAnn , I am glad that you posted . I know Ed would be proud of you . kevin in Ontario
ReplyDeleteThank you all for encouraging me. Sitting here at his desk, I feel close to him. I think this will help me to fill the hole in my heart.
ReplyDelete